Ni hao Shanghai ...

It was my first visit to Shanghai, a city of a country in transition but comparable to the cities in the developed country. I was able to take out time off despite the busy schedule in the workshop that I had to attend. On the 3rd day (4 June 2008), the final day of the workshop, it was signed off by a farewell party which was hosted in the honour of Japanese delegates in an exclusive Japanese Restaurant in a newly built Shopping Complex along the Handan Road. For me, it was like recalling once again the moments that I had spent in Tsukuba with varieties of Japanese delicatessen served by a chef standing and serving to us. Especially, I liked the "wasabe" with "sussie". It was a raw fish eaten with green vegetable paste of "wasabe". The first time I had tried that in a restaurant in Tsukuba. I was helpless holding my breath for a while. I had felt that a strong smell inside my mouth was spreading all over my head trying to escape from what ever the shortest exit available on the way. I had felt that the strong smell was coming out of my nose, ears and eyes, and my eyes had watered for a while as if I was crying. But I had liked its taste. Same way I tried to experience the enigma of the "wasabe" this time in Shanghai. Despite being "wasabe" it was not that strong. I tried over and over but could not get the strong result as I had it before. I wondered if that was a Chinese "wasabe" or possibly I could have adapted to its strong taste.

At the end of the dinner, we had planned to go shopping and walking along the Nanjing Road - the popular walking street in the Shanghai. Shang, a chinese lady, in our group had her home on the way to the walking street. So, she was ready to accompany us. Shang was in her early twenties and just completed her undergraduate from a Chinese University. It was fortunate for us that she had a beautiful english and she was proactive and intelligent too. She was a student in International Politics in US-China Relationship and possessed a good attitude towards living up a life. Probably these were the reasons, she became closer to us in a short time. In no time, we became familiar with Shanghai city and its characteristics through her. We learnt the landscapes of the city, chinese lifestyle, one child policy, government protection of landownership, corruption etc. Probably we would not have learnt these, if there was someone else in her place. As soon as we had entered the Nanjing Road walking street, we had lost ourselves for a while in the magic of the lights all around beautifully decorating the european styled buildings. The place was full of tourists, sightseeing trains honking its horn, roadside hawkers making their boon, huge billboards displaying multinational product advertisements and welcome sign for Beijing Olympic 2008 as well as for Shanghai International Trade Festival 2010 were some of the attractions that surely will stupefy anyone walking the street.

We ended up our adventure at Tian Xing Di Square. We had a green iced tea at Starbuck Coffee shop, took some pictures for our memory and kept on talking all sort of current affairs. Surely it was like a meeting among the international delegates from 4 member countries (Chinese, Thailand, Vietnam and of course, Nepal). Some of the topics we discussed (but didn't minute it) were about education, communism and religion in China. We had learnt that the Chinese people were realizing that the belief in god and following religion would simplify their effort on solving social problems. It was already 2 AM in the morning when we finally felt that we should leave.

The next day, 5 June 2008, we went to Yu yawn Garden. The garden was an age old collection of buildings at the time of Ming Dynasty. On the way to the garden, as I was exploring some of the shops on the walking street towards the Yu yawn garden, suddenly from no where, I was approached by 4 students from Beijing University Faculty of Fine Arts. For the first instance, I was a little hesitant to reply their question who I was and what was my profession. But they didn't mind my hesitation rather made me quite comfortable with their non-stop talking in English, explaining why they were there in Yu garden walking street. I thought like they were not fine arts students rather international marketing or business. These students were apparently having a painting exhibition from their university in Shanghai as a part of their academic exercise and the day was their last day. They were asking me to visit their painting exhibition. They also said that it was just on the side of Yu Yawn garden entrance. So, I went with them talking friendlier than before. They were quite happy to get at least someone who had shown interest in their exhibition.

The paintings were surely good ones. The team leader, Frank, as he had signed on one of his painting, was showing me all paintings one by one. At the end, I was asked to sign in their guest book. Probably this would earn them credit. I was quite thrilled to learn the stories behind every painting. I was not an artist but the way Frank told me the stories behind each painting, I kept on watching for some time and tried to trace the story in each of the paintings. But I was not allowed to take pictures as they were afraid their painting might be copied. At the end, he was showing some of his paintings and was quite jubilant in explaining how he came up with it. It was a simply a bamboo stick with snow on each of the leaves branching out from the stem of the bamboo. The bamboo was thicker one and there was another painting with similar nature but the stick was thinner. As he had explained, the painting would show, how a person would build up his/her career step by step with boldness in each part of one's life. There would be sorrow in every step but still one would need to stand boldly. The thicker stick was a symbol for the boldness; every node of the bamboo was steps in life; the stem between each node was part of life and the snow lying on the leaves were sorrow that one would have to face in one's life. I was quite thrilled and touched by the way he had explained and kept on looking at the painting if it would really depict such story. I could not figure it out but I thought I should contribute for their effort and I wished to buy the painting. It was really costly. I had not bought such costly painting ever in my life. With the several happy lines appearing in his and his friends' forehead, I was happy that I had contributed to a cause, no matter it was real or not. I asked him to sign at its back as that would be more valuable for me rather than the painting alone. He happily signed it in both English as well as in Chinese.

Behaviour of people largely originates from their background!

I was about to abandon this theory but I was happy I didn't. There is an age old hypothesis that the behaviour of people reflects their background, lifestyle etc. I was quite curious to know about this and over the time period, I tried to understand myself and tried my best to practise myself to null this hypothesis. Of course, I do not need to have any statistics here to prove that I have nearly done it. But as I have mentioned it before, that hypothesis still holds true. However, in my experience, the hypothesis might fail for a short term but it would hold true for long term. No matter how the person raises his/her education, how the person experiences changes in his/her lifestyle (which may be due to living in different society), if the person tries to behave different than the normal then it is no other than brushing the matter. And this brushing will always give a look as if it is his/her real behaviour. Here, I am not trying to advocate a good or bad behaviour. But it is rational that a person will always want to show his/her good behaviour except in few cases which are not subjects of this discussion.

I am being brought up into such a family that rarely interacts with another world though having a sea of relatives within it. I used to think that I could change over the period of time with my development in the thoughts, of course to be overridden by the anxiety to have those changes in my behaviour, along with the raises in my education, social values and norms and understanding behavioural society. Here, I am not trying to say bad or good changes and also I may be ignoring several other drivers here. I would like to excuse for these as I am not a socialist and understanding these is really difficult for my little mind. I must admit that I have changed a lot from the time when I have been able to think independently. Over the period of time, I tried my best to interact with others with a behaviour different than my original. I had tried my best to act differently so as the other person would not take it otherwise. I had tried my best to be conscious about others' need rather than mine so as the other one would not take it otherwise. I had tried my best to behave like a gentle man (though I was not) so that the other person would take me as a gentle person. Ironically, these were reciprocated in the same manner. But these usually lasted for a short term. In the longer term, probably there are some other drivers that I could not understand properly, affect it and these actions usually have a peak. Probably this is the reason that a person in a short term always looks good but in longer term always ends up peaking high. One may argue it is not always and probably it is not true for some serious relationship. I am not discussing about any serious relationship here and this discussion probably needs to be read for a relationship in general.

What would affect such a peak? Probably this is something that requires more scrutinizing. But in my experiences,it is the background how he/she has been brought up. The rate at which one reduces his/her anxiety to interact during every step in the life probably reduces him/her from the brushing. But to one's dismay, the higher the anxiety reaches, the higher the result would reverse. At this point, probably one can see him/her displaying an act that belongs to his/her background. Probably, he/she would not be able to realize it with the anxiety reaching at peak. Rather one needs to reduce his/her anxiety from the peak in order to realize it and if his/her anxiety starts declining, then it would not take much time for him/her to realize it.

Comments are welcome!